Making friends can be easy. It depends on ho outgoingyou are. If you're shy, then you need to build up your confidence to become popular. This guide might help you but what you really need is socializing skills and of course a cheerful smile.
EditSteps
- 1Just be yourself. Don't be afraid to express your opinions. If someone insults you, just ignore them. The people who are jealous and hate you will be outnumbered by the people who love you for being yourself.
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www.lumosity.com - 2Be optimistic. Even if you are feeling really down, remember that there's always something out there to smile about. A positive outlook will make people want to be around you a lot more. Be cautious, however. There's a point where optimism can be annoying. Don't be too optimistic.
- 3Crack a joke. (Having a sense of humor is important, but don't get too carried away, there are some things you have to be serious about.If you joke about your friend in a rude way it could damage your relationship with them.)
- 4Smile as much as you can! Signs of encouragement let people know you care about what they are saying. But have a reason to smile. Make it clear you have a reason to smile with humor or optimistic words. Smiling without a reason, or smiling too much may creep people out.
- 5Share interesting/silly ideas. Your thoughts can open up many doors that can lead to friendship.
- 6Listen more than you talk. Instead of nodding and smiling and occasionally wiping the drool off your face, try to take what the person says and run with it. Add your own thoughts into the mix - but don't hijack the conversation.
- 7Start by doing little things if you are very reserved. For example, every time you go to school, work, or wherever, say hello to one person and have a one-on-one conversation with them.
- 8Say "hello" to those that don't talk much. (Share something about yourself, such as where you're going or why you're there. Avoid talking about the weather - as Tom Waits says, "Strangers talk about the weather." Try to compliment them.
- 9Don't expect perfection out of anyone, especially yourself. For example, if you forget your own name while introducing yourself (which probably won't happen), just make fun of the situation.
- 10Be Patient. If you are still among strangers, the apprehension of a conversation may cause a delay in comments. Don't worry, that will go away in short order.
- 11Talk to older people, maybe even your own folks. They will be less likely to ridicule you, therefore making it easier to learn to talk well.
- 12Place importance on making social contacts. The people who are considered popular may not be the sharpest tacks in the box, but they are acquainted with important people who may contribute to their future careers. It is never too late to feel that being popular is important. If your work environment allows for it, host a party, organize a sports game, etc.
- 13Love yourself. It is difficult to like others when you do not appreciate yourself for who you are. Try exercise to improve your self-esteem. Start your journey to "self-discovery."
- 14Be loyal. Little things count. If you make an appointment, be on time. If you're in a group, show up early, and stay late (even if you don't have anything to say at the moment).
- 15Be nice to others. Always give compliments, but don't try too hard. If you are shy, take a deep breath and risk it - you never know what might happen. Again, if you are shy on the outside but a little crazy on the inside, let it out once in a while. Wear your hair up high and spin around or dance. Others will laugh and find you funny and fun to be with.
- 16Try not to be defensive over something that is possibly your own issue. For example, don't shout, "Why are you so prejudiced?" or "Why don't you like women?" when due to past situations you may just be overly sensitive. Try to always believe the best of others and give them the benefit of the doubt that can go a long way in getting to know the real person. If it turns out they are a bigot, then move on to befriend the next person and don't waste any more energy. It may take a few tries to find friends that "click." And anyway, if you're arguing with someone about something stupid such as shoes, drop it. Try to get out of arguments that are dumb. If you're arguing because you were sticking up for your friend such as something like someone was making fun of her and you were trying to stand up for her, then I completely understand.
- 17Be honest. Lying will make people not want to be your friend any more, because they will not trust you anymore.
- 18Respect everyone, no matter what they think or say. They are a person and deserve to be treated with respect. If you treat people well they will treat you the same.
- 19(Build confidence)Try to get younger friends if you are in middle school. Hanging out with kids a year or two younger than you will help build confidence, which will help you with kids around your own age. I know, no one wants to hang out with the 10 year old next door. But i promise just hang out and talk to them and your confidence will skyrocket!
- Avoid saying something that could be taken the wrong way, but don't over-analyze what you want to say. If you think about it too much, not only will you miss out on your chance to contribute to the conversation, but what you do end up saying might sound scripted and unnatural.
- A pendulum has to swing in the opposite direction before it lands in the middle, so if you have too much of a problem over-thinking things, first let go of it allowing for errors or failed attempts -- and let yourself say things that could be taken the wrong way (be inaccurate) until you get the hang of it, and then learn how to "filter" out those errant efforts at conversing and associating for fun and friend.
- Avoid saying something that could be taken the wrong way, but don't over-analyze what you want to say. If you think about it too much, not only will you miss out on your chance to contribute to the conversation, but what you do end up saying might sound scripted and unnatural.
- 20Find people who share your interests. Get up, move and join a group of classmates that has similar interests whether at lunch or at a party. In that environment, it would be easier to meet people and make friends. And it's fine if your friends don't have much in common with you as long as you both are happy and comfortable. If they judge/don't approve of something you do, they aren't friends. If they don't approve of you smoking for example, don't look at it the wrong way. They're only trying to protect you. So, don't remain on the edge looking in; your move...
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EditTips
- Don't try to be someone you're not. Just act calm and don't say anything out of the blue. If you want to talk to someone but don't have the confidence to do so; just go for it! You'll know if they want to be your friend or not by the way they respond. Maybe you could start the conversation with something simple, such as; "Hey, are you alright?" etc.
- Everybody likes some attention, (even the shy ones). Pay a little attention to people, and often they'll repay you warmly. It doesn't take much.
- Do not be selfish. Many think if they are generous their friends would take advantage of them. This is an absurd paradox. If your friends were taking advantage of you, you would see right through them, and they should not be considered your friend!
- Avoid prejudice, even among age. It is not impossible for a 20-year-old to be a friend to a 70-year-old. Don't limit your possibilities.
- Earn some money. You'll be able to go out and do more things, and if you get a job, you'll meet more people there who have similar experiences.
- Surround yourself with people you want to be like.
- Be passionate about what you believe in - keep your own opinions and ideas.
- Take genuine interest in other people, and they will do the same for you.
- A great way to start a conversation with some one new is to ask advice. Everyone wants to show off a little and most likely they'll be happy to help.
- Start out slowly with people. Begin conversations with open-ended questions like, "How's it going?" and let the other person run with the conversation. Calibrate their initial response, to gauge whether they are responsive to more conversation.
- Don't forget about your other friends! Introduce them to each other. That way, you'll have more to talk about and your friends can make more friends, too.
- Sometimes people need a little coaxing. You might have to ask them "How are you?" and "What have have you been up to?" in succession before you get a deep enough response to bring about further conversation.
- People often underestimate how self-conscious other people are. When you interact with other people, remember that they can often make the conversation uncomfortable because of their own insecurities. The best thing to do is to be confident. Confidence gives you a greater vantage point in which to see the social inadequacies of other people.
- Aim to get respect from other people instead of their approval. People are attracted to the people that value themselves. If you are looking for other people's approval then you are implicitly saying that "I value this person's opinion of me, and valuation of me as my indication of worth." You have to value yourself and not seek anyone else's value assessment of you.
- Surround yourself with other people and you will attract more people. People take shortcuts, and in the absence of spending hours with you to find out who you really are, they look to see that you are liked by other people (it's called social proof). As a result, they come to the conclusion, "if other people like you, then I suspect I can like you as well."
- One thing that people like to talk about is sports. A good way to start a conversation is "Hey! How 'bout them (team)?" (If they are into sports that is)
- It's easier to talk to people if you have shared an experience with them. Clearly the friends you have at the moment predominantly talk about interesting things they did in the past.
- Don't be afraid to ask them for their Facebook, MySpace, AIM Screen Name, email address, phone #, etc. Its very important that you guys stay in contact if you want more friends.
- Don't try too hard.
- Cursing can be very unattractive, but at the same time, some people don't mind. It's best not to curse at all, people who don't like it instantly notice, but those who accept it don't notice it. But know the group you are in. Some groups of friends will like you better if you curse, but then it can be complicated(it might be OK around your same-sex friends but not when they have an opposite-sex friend over).
- Never wear disgusting and dirty clothes. It puts people right off.
- Always be nice to older people. Some of my best friends are older.
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EditWarnings
- Don't allow negative treatment of your friend in a group that you wouldn't want for yourself. If something seems wrong, such as some of your friends are humiliating another friend (even if the individual is a bit of a jerk), speak up in defense. Just remember that this is your friend, too. Who cares if the others disagree: tell them that they should be loyal to this friend. Make it a point that "we are all friends". When it comes down to it, do you really want to regret not defending one of your friends in the group? Would it be worth it, to not help your friend -- and not show the others that you can be trusted to standup for them, too!
- Avoid self-destructive thoughts. Doing things that build talent and esteem will subdue such negativity.
- It is not necessary to accept the first person who comes along, as a friend. Judge them on their merits, not their appearance. In fact, don't judge much at all. Be cautious, however.
- Don't try to say something just for the purpose of looking smart or funny. Most people would rather be friends with someone who comes off as being sincere, not someone just trying to show off. Make sure your humor comes naturally and isn't forced.
- Not everybody likes a bubbly, social, funny personality. A lot of people probably like you just as you are!
- Be yourself. DON'T think about changing into someone else that you are not as you will not get respect that way. If you lie about something that you really don't do, they'll end up finding out & maybe everyone the next week won't be into that anymore, so your best thing to do is talk about your own interests & ask them about theirs or any others they may have.
- The 'key thing' in a conversation is the word 'you'. Ask them about themselves. DON'T go talking about yourself the whole time! If you notice you are saying "I" too much or are just talking about yourself, hurry up & finish that sentence & ask them about what they like. Example: "I like that singer's style. What kinda music do you like?"
- Never put yourself down. Always be confident and other people will notice. Making a bad remark about yourself only makes it OK for other people to do so too.
- Watch late night comedy so you can develop a sense of how to make people laugh.
- Don't crack a joke every 5 seconds. People may think you're annoying, and won't want to hang around you.
- Don't try too hard to be funny.
- Don't laugh too much! If you're too nervous, take deep breaths and try to calm down.
- Don't put anyone down including an older person or an ugly person. Be nice to everyone, for example don't find fault in others under no circumstances.
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Forming Friendships
Forming Friendships
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Español: Como ser sociable, gracioso y hacer amigos
Español: Como ser sociable, gracioso y hacer amigos
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